Thursday

We are really moving soon. Very soon. On Tuesday next week. I try not to think about it, but when there are men I don't know walking around in our house wrapping things up and fill boxes with stuff its hard to avoid the thought. We will sleep in the house one more night, and on Friday we will take our bags and leave. I will spend Friday to Sunday at Lukas's house and the rest of my family will stay at a hotel. On Tuesday next week we will take our rental car and drive down to Virginia. I don't know if I can handle this right now. How can i possibly leave this place? This house, the city, the students in my school, all my friends, my lovable boyfriend who means everything and more to me, how will I be able to leave without having a mental breakdown? I don't its possible. 

...

Sometimes life is just confusing. And hard. Life is hard because you have everything you want and need around you, but you know that these things that make you safe and happy are leaving you soon. Life is confusing because you want to build up a image that you are so stable and  bright and know everything. But even if that is the facade the inside is totally different. You know you're wrong. You know you're saying the wrong stuff, thinking the wrong way, doing the wrong things. And even if you're wrong, you keep going. You try to defend what you're saying, thinking, doing, even tough you know you're wrong and the person in front of you is right. You know that the person is right, but you don't want to give in. You don't want show the world that you're weak. And that life is hard doesn't make things easier. It messes up your mind, makes you to choose the wrong way even if you know its stupid. It makes everything worse. You know that its not a big deal, still you start screaming and shouting. For no reason. But you don't realize it until afterwards, when its too late. 

Prom

We all know what it is, we all want to be there. We dream about as little girls in elementary school. I have no idea if this is true, maybe if a was an american kid I could have an opinion about it. But I'm not, so the only thing I can do is to talk about what happened that evening and maybe share some deeper thoughts about it.

After finishing an english regents and chem regents in school I hurried my way over to the flower shop where I met my mom. In there the line was long. The day of prom must be their favorite day of the year. Then we drove back home, I showered and got ready and at 4.25 I went out to the car and we drove over to Lukas' house (now, all my dear swedish friends, I know what you're thinking. "Isn't the guy suppose to pick up his date???" But trust me, life isn't a high school movie).  There I met his parents, we talked and took pictures. At 5.15 maybe me and Lukas drove over to a friends house. She had some kind of before prom with snacks, drink and a lot of people. 

From there we again drove to school where buses waited for us. They took all guests to the city where our cruise waited for us. Excited as we all were we walked onto the boat. There were a lot of kids, some teachers and two police officers. Before the boat had left the pier it swayed and got tossed a lot and I think a lot of people got a little worried. What if the trip's going to be like this all the time? We didn't had to worry though, when the boat started to move the floor got stable. 

The night consisted of a lot of talking, chilling, dancing, taking pictures and some eating. The food wasn't great, but what to expect? When the sun went down and left the sky black the NY skyline was beautiful. We sailed over the water of Hudson, got a look at the Statue of Liberty, went under the Brooklyn Bridge and everything was shining.

After 11.00 somewhere we came back to stable ground.  Walking up a couple of blocks we all managed to get into a cab (Not all people at once though). We arrived at Warwick hotel at 6th Avenue a little later where we got our two rooms and suite. Waking up at ten thursday morning after having an awesome night and with two hours of sleep. 

Last CWC meeting and walking dogs in the rain

Today is Thursday. Period. That means tomorrow is Friday. Period. And Friday means almost weekend! Exclamation sign! I don't know why I'm writing like this, comma, but I felt like doing something special today. Period.

OK, I'll stop playing around now. As I said, today is Thursday which traditionally means Creative Writing Club. This was a very special meeting though. The last meeting of the year, which means the last meeting forever for me! It was also the last meeting for the seniors in my class and we ate cake and stuff to, I don't know, celebrate? Celebrate must be the wrong word though, it's not like we celebrated because we were so happy we never had to come back there again. lets just leave it that we ate cake.

My family is babysitting a dog (dogsitting???) this weekend, some neighbors of ours are going away and we are walking her. Of course we chose to go out the minute before it started pouring, but we kept on walking so the dog could do her stuff. When we came back again the rain almost stopped. Just my luck*


*This is a movie with Lindsay Lohan btw. If you're not a girl between 13-19 I do NOT recommend it.

academic awards

Okay, so, my second post in english *Yay everybody cheer!!*. Tuesday today, and B-day which I hate because I have double period chemistry. After coming home from school I didn't do anything special. I don't even remember what I did so it can't have been very important. 

At 7.00 p.m we had some kind of event  in school, Academic Awards. Like handing out diplomas to students who done well during the year. I think that is one thing that american high school differ the most from swedish school. In Sweden the schools don't, in lack of better words, notice the students' their achievements very much. Absolutely no "student of the month" prizes. I guess that is both a good or a bad thing. Good because students feel like their hard work in school is counted for something. I guess the bad part is when the people who are struggling with school but can't get good grades and they see all these super smart people get their prizes or whatever they get all depressed or something and then maybe have even harder to concentrate in school. But i don't know, I am not a psychologist, I don't know how everything works. And I don't have enough knowledge to state an opinion of what I think yet.

Starting over?

I started to write this blog somewhere in the middle of my Junior year in High School. One of my reasons were: To keep writing in Swedish so I don't forget how to. Today I'm glad I did this. I read my Brother's Swedish essay a couple of days ago and he has totally forgot how to write in Swedish, a better comparison to his writing I think would be to call it Swenglish.

Why, you may be wondering now, am I writing in English now then? You see, we have exactly a week left of classes in school this year, the rest is only test days until summer break. When i started this blog, i had no idea how long I was going to stay in Dobbs Ferry. One year, two years, even longer? I know now that I will not spend my senior year in DFHS, its extremely sad, I know. So, I will now do the opposite, swedish school, english blog. And maybe I will even have some american readers, who knows?

My english is of course not perfect, so don't expect to read Shakespeare-class literature here. 

yes

Onsdag idag och jag är jätteglad. För en timme sen kanske så kom jag hem från att ha varit med Lukas sen skolan slutade, vilket faktist är ovanligt för att det är inte ofta vi är lediga samma tider. Det gick bra på kemiprovet idag och jag har gjort klart alla mina läxor. Bättre än såhär kan det inte bli en onsdag kväll klockan 9.58 pm.